i’ve always been a competitive person. i can’t remember not wanting to be the best or training without a goal in mind.
my sport of choice has changed over the years but my competitiveness and expectation of perfection has not. i’m working on that in therapy. i’m really good at putting pressure on myself and feeling like i have to be perfect or it isn’t worth it.
i do have a goal though. i want to qualify for the boston marathon. i’ve only run one marathon before. in order to qualify i need to shave about 36 minutes off that time. i believe i can do it if i want to and dedicate myself to it. but i don’t want to put the pressure on myself to do it and feel like everyone is watching me to see how i do. so only my husband and my therapist know that i’m going to train for a spring marathon.
and whoever may stumble upon this blog. but that’s okay. i want to record my training, my thoughts and my quest to do something because i enjoy it and want to rather than feeling like i should or have to. i don’t know exactly what i’ll say here but it’s my space to talk about my thoughts and experiences. hopefully no one figures me out 😉